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Memorable Occurrences in Swedenborg's Writings

This list of Memorable Occurrences in Swedenborg's Writings was originally compiled by W. C. Henderson in 1960 but has since been updated.

From Swedenborg's Works

 

Conjugial Love #330

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330. The second account:

I once heard a friendly discussion among some men regarding the feminine sex, as to whether any woman can love her husband if she is constantly in love with her own beauty, that is, if she loves herself on account of her appearance. The men agreed among themselves, first that women have a twofold beauty, one a natural beauty having to do with their face and figure, and the other a spiritual beauty having to do with their love and demeanor. They agreed also that these two kinds of beauty are very often separated in the natural world, but that they are always united in the spiritual world; for outward beauty in the spiritual world is an expression of a person's love and demeanor. It frequently happens after death therefore that homely women become beautiful, and beautiful women homely.

[2] As the men were discussing this, some wives came to them saying, "Permit us to join you; for what you are discussing you know from observation, but we know it from experience. Besides, as regards the love possessed by wives you know so little as to know scarcely anything. Are you aware that it is a matter of prudence inherent in the wisdom of wives to hide their love for their husbands and conceal it in the recesses of their bosom or at the center of their heart?"

The discussion recommenced, and the first conclusion drawn by the men was that every woman wishes to seem beautiful in appearance and beautiful in demeanor, because she is from birth the form of an affection of love and this affection is expressed in beauty. Therefore a woman who does not wish to be beautiful is not a woman who wishes to love and be loved, and so is not truly a woman.

To this the wives said, "A woman's beauty lies in her gentle tenderness and in her consequent keen sensitivity of feeling. That is what occasions a woman's love for a man and a man's love for a woman. This is perhaps something you do not understand."

[3] The men's second conclusion was that before marriage a woman wishes to be beautiful for men in general, but after marriage, if she is chaste, for her husband only and not for other men.

To this the wives said, "After a husband has tasted the natural beauty of his wife he no longer sees it, but sees instead her spiritual beauty and returns her love because of that. If he calls to mind her natural beauty, he does so with a different view of it."

[4] The third conclusion reached by the men in their discussion was that if a woman after marriage wishes to seem beautiful in the same way as before, she loves men in general and not her husband. "For a woman who loves herself on account of her beauty," they explained, "continually wishes to have her beauty tasted; and because it is no longer seen by her husband - as you women have said - she wishes to have it tasted by men who do see it. It is patent that such a woman has a love for the opposite sex in general and not a love for just one."

At this the wives were silent, though they murmured to themselves, "What woman is so without vanity that she does not wish to seem beautiful to men in general also at the same time as to her one and only?"

Listening to this were some wives from heaven, who were themselves beautiful, being forms of heavenly affection, and they confirmed the three conclusions reached by the men. But they added, "Let women love their beauty and its ornamentation, provided it is for the sake of their husbands and inspired by them."

  
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Many thanks to the General Church of the New Jerusalem, and to Rev. N.B. Rogers, translator, for the permission to use this translation.

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